Abigail Murphy on Personal Motivation

What happens when you receive your first quiz and it is not what you anticipated-- what thoughts plague your mind? Hear what Abigail Murphy, Junior Humanities major in the House of Corrie ten Boom, has to say about how to stray away from those discouraging and preventative thoughts.

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What happens when you receive your first quiz and it is not what you anticipated– what thoughts plague your mind? Hear what Abigail Murphy, Junior Humanities major in the House of Corrie ten Boom, has to say about how to stray away from those discouraging and preventative thoughts.

What happens when you receive your first quiz and it is not what you anticipated– what thoughts plague your mind? I’m not meant to be here. I’m never going to be the ideal King’s student. What is a passing grade? Hear what Abigail Murphy, Junior Humanities major in the House of Corrie ten Boom, has to say about how to stray away from those discouraging and preventative thoughts.

At the end of every week, I often say to myself: “Next week will be different. I’ll only attend one social event, keep my caffeine intake to a minimum, work out every day, and complete in-depth readings for every one of my classes.” It’s taken me two years to realize that unrealistic expectations discourage and prevent progress. However, by no means should we accept failure–there isn’t time. We have to move on, to the next quiz, paper, exam, etc. In addition, and more importantly, we have a reason for trying again. I’m here to share with you my motivation for getting through those moments.

In regard to knowledge and the progress of learning, I admit I fell into the trap of assuming that the best students had certain motivations that were universal, and that I needed to do whatever they did to succeed at King’s. I was simply ignorant to the level of diversity available in the process of learning. In applying this, I began to see that I need to learn my brain, to learn what study habits I personally need to form to learn well. I need to take advice and absorb the benefit while attempting to be as discerning as possible. In order to work toward the goals that we set out for ourselves, we need to realize that it takes time–and that time will include many failures. Some of the most successful scientists and businessmen in the world failed hundreds of tests before their experiments were successful. At the same time, we need to acknowledge that failure isn’t the only way of learning. As the last child of a large family, I’ve seen my siblings make mistake after mistake, but instead of learning from their mistakes I often felt I needed to make my own mistakes to truly learn. But we don’t gain wisdom and knowledge that way. Someone once said to me that wisdom is learning from the mistakes of others, not making your own. If wisdom is the goal, we do well to maintain a tight balance between learning from others and testing what works best for ourselves.
In regards to physical care, it’s taken many semesters of trial and error to see what worked best for me, according to my priorities–and that’s okay because I was, and still am, figuring out what those priorities are. I realized over time what affected my body for the worse, so I began to slowly dial back those unnecessary foods, poor eating habits, and even environments. Certain things are meant for enjoying, others for restraining. However, we all learned at Fall Retreat that the Sabbath is more influential than we thought. We are to do it because it is commanded of us and because it provides spiritual and physical benefit. Growing up honoring the Sabbath was always refreshing, but it was hard to maintain once I came to King’s. Once I resumed consistently, it began to center my week, and I am now able to be more productive in six days than seven because the Sabbath is my ambition. Habits are key to flourishing.

In regards to my academics, asking for help is always a humbling experience, but more rewarding that I could’ve imagined. That help comes in many forms. There have been countless times where I’ve attended office hours to simply clarify something that I missed in class, and ended up talking for 2.5 hours discussing an array of topics. Even as I’m writing this, I’m working within a new time-management system that my sister helped me create after having a breakdown because I didn’t’ think I could check all my boxes and be happy with the results. Those are often the very conversations that get me through the late nights, the poor grades, and other low points. They make it all worth it, for they show me I’m not just here for a letter on my transcript, for a career, or for only a college experience. I realized that I’m here for a larger purpose–to become well-rounded and to develop a love and skill for the things that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. I’m still fleshing out what that looks like for me, according to my personality, values, and identity, but at least I know my searching has a purpose worth striving toward.

In conclusion, it was Augustine who said, “Our hearts are restless until they find rest in You.” The Lord is accessible at all times, in all measures–not only at the completion of a goal but in the process, and at all moments of our lives. It is up to us to find rest in Him, not in the worth of success. In the end, that is what motivates me to learn for its own sake, to live in the tension of the unknown, and to soak up the thrills along the way.


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